How I found a Mother’s Helper

Above is a picture of my daughters dog piling on one of the sweetest souls this world has ever known; that of my mother’s helper. If you’ve found this article and you aren’t sure what a mother’s helper is- or why you would need to find one- you can read about that here.

These are the steps I have personally taken to find a mother’s helper. If you know of other ways I would love to hear about them in the comments!

Step 1:
Hop on Facebook and find some local home school groups.

Why home schooling? I don’t/won’t home school.
Girlfriend, this isn’t about that. This is about finding a 10-16 year old who is HOME during the day.

Step 2:
Once you have gained entry into the Facebook group post an “I’m seeking out” or ISO.

people woman glass lens

Here is what I have posted:

“Hello, I am looking for a mother’s helper.
I’m looking for someone young enough to use her imagination and play with barbies- but also old enough to make simple snacks and feel comfortable watching a 2 year old one on one while I’m doing laundry, putting the baby down for a nap, etc.

Ideally, 2-3 times a week between 9am-1pm.

If this is something you and one of your girls are interested in- please text me: ***-867-5309.
I would love to invite you and your family over so we can all meet and see if this is a good fit for our families.
Thank you!”

Step 2:
Invite the prospective family over.

If someone comments, calls, or texts the next step is to clean your house. (I know….I know.) Next invite them over one evening when your spouse is home. This is the time that you can get a feel for each other. Are these pre-teens responsible? Are they raised in a household that shares the same values as yours? Is said mother’s helper good with kids? Pro tip: Have some toys out and watch them play with your kiddos. This is also the time to be really upfront about your expectations. Not just about what you want help with in your home. Talk about the availability you are looking for. The times. Who is picking up and dropping off? Is this family comfortable with your husband being home when the mother’s helper is? Speak to the parents but also directly to the ‘big kid’. Can they answer questions? Do they look you in the eyes? How much are you wanting to pay? How are you wanting to pay? Can they accept checks? Who do you need to write them out to? I think you get the idea.

Step 3:
Agree to a schedule

flat lay photography of calendar

I always tried to stick to a semi regular schedule. It’s respectful to everyone’s time that way. We only planned out a week at a time so every Sunday I would text the helper’s mom. For every day my helper would come over we planned who would pick up or drop off. I worked around her girl’s extra curricular stuff and we made it work for us.

Step 4:
Take back your sanity and live your best stay at home mom life.

Suggestions:
• I never had a mother’s helper over when my husband was home. Not because he is a creep- but because if the shoe were on the other foot, I wouldn’t feel comfortable.
• I never coordinated with or spoke directly to the ‘big kid’. All of the planning, requests for extra days, and communication in general went through the mother. I think that respect is beyond important. For me personally, this was one way that I showed the respect I would want if it were my daughter.

I hope this post helps ALL of my fellow mothers in the trenches of sleepless nights! You are amazing, capable, and having an extra set of hands doesn’t change that.

Do you have any ways that you ensure help or carve out time for yourself? I would love to hear about it. Us moms have to stick together!

Love in Jesus,

Jess

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